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Big Game Hunters Toy Test

The Post Christmas Toy Test

Name:

Jungle Launchers

Description:

Plush, long limbed, slingshot toy that screams a monkey howl as it flies through the air.
Inside the arms is surgical tubing used to make the best slingshots.

Cost/Location:

$7.95 @

Thrill:
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WOW! The Beasts were frenzied as we prepared the launchers for the test. The noises! The long arms! The cute faces to bite! Oh Joy!

Beast Review:
reviewed
December, 2002

This was the Beast's favorite Christmas present. We think this is the most innovative new dog toy released this year. We took them outside to see how far they fly. Our results were 30 feet. The Monkeys screamed the whole time. The Beasts loved the long limbs and the noises drove them wild. They de-stuffed them as fast as they could to get to the noisemaker. The noisemaker is so sensitive that even walking by the monkey will set it off. The Beasts really didn't take too much notice of the tubing - they really wanted the screamer. We still have the screaming noisemaker in a kitchen drawer for fun!

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"That monkey wants me to bite him!"
~ Emrys

"monkey, Monkey, Monkey!"
~ Bergamot Fury

Durability:
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We did two separate tests. The results matched closely for both.
The Orangutan lasted 8 minutes and the Monkey lasted 7 minutes.

The minute by minute report:
Minute 1: First limb torn off - both tests
Minute 2: Vicious Tug of War
Minute 3: Second limb torn off
Minute 4: furious shaking & pulling accompanied by Monkey screams.
Minute 5: Tail removed.
Minute 6: De-stuffing procedure begins. More Monkey screaming.
Minute 7: See minute 6
Minute 8: Chip removed from monkey carcass & confiscated by monitor.

Lifespan:

8 and 7 minutes respectively.
Great fun at a dollar a minute!

Cost vs. Durability:
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Worth every penny - at 1.6 pennies a second!

Safety:
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These are fun toys for you and your Boston(s). They were designed to be interactive, which means they require 100% supervision. Inside they contain rubber surgical tubing and the noisemaker is a computer chip inside a plastic casing. Never leave your Boston unsupervised with this toy.

Boston Proof?

Bwahahahahahahaha! No.

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